


my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you

by jetstars



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, making everything about wlw since Forever, my favorite tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26590990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetstars/pseuds/jetstars
Summary: It’s not the first time Toru has made her feel something. Toru has made her feel a lot of things; disgust, annoyance- sometimes anger, though it’s rarer than most would reasonably believe, and sometimes joy, which is a lot more common than most would reasonably believe.But sometimes, something that feels suspiciously like overwhelming fondness creeps into her chest and squeezes her lungs, latches on to her heart and doesn’t let go until she aches with it. Sometimes Toru smiles and her head spins until she’s dizzy and lost somewhere in a daydream she’s never been ready to admit to, or think about further once she’s caught herself in the act.Of course, now isn’t the time to deal with that, Hajime thinks- and whether that’s some textbook emotional deflection or the actual smart choice to make in that situation, is a thought to reflect on much later.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captainlibra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainlibra/gifts).



> hbd syd i love U ! <3
> 
> here's another installment of my ongoing quest to make everything about wlw
> 
> i am a solid 80% confident in my characterization of these dweebs

They lost. Against all odds, every conceivable outcome she’d genuinely considered, they lost. 

Granted, it’s not the end of the world. It’s upsetting in a very real way, one she is viscerally aware of and can feel down to her bones- an uncomfortable concoction of grief and disappointment and anger that makes her stomach churn. But there will be other games to play. There will be other tournaments to compete in. There will be other teams to join.

It could be worse, Hajime thinks. But not by much. 

But there’s no time to be upset. She can hole up in her room and mourn the early end to her high school volleyball career later tonight. Right now, she’s at the gym with her teammates, her found family. They lost a game, but she hasn’t lost them yet. 

_ Priorities, _ Hajime reminds herself.  _ You still have your team. They’re your friends, too. _

It’s with this thought that Hajime realizes she has lost sight of the team captain. 

“You go ahead,” she tells Kindaichi, clapping her on the shoulder as she walks past. “I’m gonna go find Oikawa.”

Kindaichi makes a face. Hajime rolls her eyes. 

She finds Toru sitting alone on a bench in one of the many long stretches of hallway between gyms. She’s on her phone, scrolling with a vacant look in her eyes that makes Hajime frown reflexively.

“Hey,” she calls. Toru glances up at her, then back down at her phone as she locks it and shoves it into her gym bag. “Kindaichi and I are gonna go watch the last matches, if you want to join us.” Toru doesn’t look at her. “You okay?”

She can vaguely make out a faint little smile on Toru’s face. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be there in a minute, Iwa-chan.”

“I’m not worried.” Hajime pauses, wavering where she stands. “Should I be?”

Toru laughs. “You know me better than that.”

With a shrug, Hajime turns to leave, and Toru doesn’t stop her. She ends up pausing at the gym doors, hovering with one hand on the handle and Toru somewhere behind her, and debates for a moment. Then she turns back around, a frown on her face. 

“You’re sure…”

The sentence dies in her throat midway. Toru looks up at her, almost chastised, and not quite meeting her gaze. Her eyes are shining, and there’s a soft, bitter smile on her face. 

Hajime has seen Toru cry before. Oikawa Toru is as melodramatic as they come- she laments about every little inconvenience. But this is nothing like that. This isn’t loud and boisterous sobbing because someone she had a crush on didn’t like her back, and it certainly isn’t tears of joy after a hard won victory. 

Toru shakes her head, eyes turning to the floor between them, before settling her sight on a point outside the window running down her side of the hallway. “I just thought we would have more time,” she whispers through a soft, shaky laugh. 

Immediately Hajime backtracks, inching toward Toru like she would approach a frightened animal. “I know,” she murmurs.

“You don’t have to baby me, you know,” Toru insists, waving her hand in cheap dismissal as Hajime crouches in front of her. “I’m a big girl, Hajime. I can handle a little disappointment.”

It’s the use of her given name that hits like a smack across the face. “No you can’t,” Hajime argues, her voice soft and low. Toru giggles.

“Kick me while I’m down, why don’t you?”

Hajime braces both hands on Toru’s shoulders and holds her steady, peering at her until she meets her eyes. “Toru…”

“I’ll be fine,” Toru cuts her off, shaking her head lightly. “It’s not the end of the world.”

Hajime bites back the truth, swallows it hard and pushes through the pang of remorse that’s been simmering in her gut since their match with Karasuno ended not even remotely the way she had expected it to. Now is not the time. “Right,” she says instead. “We’re not done yet.”

The light drains from Toru’s eyes as they turn downward, now peering somewhere past Hajime’s shoulder. “Aren't we?” she sighs.

“No.” Toru doesn’t look at her, just stares into the middle distance instead and takes shorter, labored breaths as Hajime holds her in place. “You said it yourself. We’re a team, aren’t we?”

“Not for much longer.”

And there it is. The real reason Toru is hiding in the hallway, determined not to cry- at least, not in front of anyone. It’s a sucker punch to the gut, and Hajime reels for a moment with it. 

“So what? You think just because we won’t be on the same team anymore, that means we’ll never see each other again?” Hajime moves her head to the side, attempting to forcibly meet Toru’s watery gaze, but she dodges easily. “You think I’d just ditch you like that?”

Toru says nothing, and that’s answer enough. 

“ _ Oikawa Toru _ .” The captain in question blinks a few times, then her gaze flashes to meet Hajime’s, looking faintly sheepish. “I would’ve ditched you a long time ago if that were the case. I wouldn’t be here right now.” 

“But you’ve said it yourself. I’m annoying. I’m full of myself. I don’t know when to shut up.” Toru shakes her head. “Really, I don’t expect anyone to stick around when there’s not some obligation to do that anymore.”

“You’re not just the team captain. You’re my  _ friend _ .” The surprised look on Toru’s face makes the metaphorical punch to Hajime’s gut radiate painfully. “Yeah, you’re overconfident. You talk a lot. But you’re my best friend.” Hajime searches for Toru’s gaze, frowning at the tears in her eyes now starting to spill over. “So what if we bicker like an old, married couple- I’ve known you for most of my entire life. I wouldn’t still be here if I really couldn’t stand you.”

Toru sniffs, raising a hand to rake through her messy hair. She’s quiet for a long moment. “Sorry.”

Hajime huffs, exasperated. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I’m being pathetic, aren’t I?”

“You’re not,” Hajime insists, unwavering. “You have every reason to be upset right now. I am, too.”

Toru just laughs, quiet and a little shaken. Without a word Hajime pulls her up off the bench by the arms and wraps her up into a hug, burying her face in the side of Toru’s neck as Toru melts into her, arms winding around Hajime’s waist and resting there.

“Had to be Kageyama-kun, didn’t it?”

Toru snorts. “God, don’t  _ remind  _ me. I’m never going to live it down.”

Eventually Toru pulls back, her arms still wrapped around Hajime and head turned to the side. The tears have migrated from her eyes and down her cheeks, and Hajime swipes at them with her thumb before she can think about it. 

“We should do something tonight,” Hajime whispers. “I can order takeout from that Thai place you like.”

Toru giggles and shakes her head. “What’s the occasion, Iwa-chan?”

“I want to hang out with you,” Hajime says simply. The smirk on Toru’s face melts into a bemused little smile. “Not because we’re on a team. Not because I feel like I have to. No volleyball, nothing. Just because you’re my friend, and I want to.”

Toru grins, and it does something to Hajime’s heart that she doesn’t want to think about right now. 

It’s not the first time Toru has made her feel something. Toru has made her feel a lot of things; disgust, annoyance- sometimes anger, though it’s rarer than most would reasonably believe, and sometimes joy, which is a lot more common than most would reasonably believe. 

But sometimes, something that feels suspiciously like overwhelming fondness creeps into her chest and squeezes her lungs, latches on to her heart and doesn’t let go until she aches with it. Sometimes Toru smiles and her head spins until she’s dizzy and lost somewhere in a daydream she’s never been ready to admit to, or think about further once she’s caught herself in the act. 

Of course, now isn’t the time to deal with that, Hajime thinks- and whether that’s some textbook emotional deflection or the actual smart choice to make in that situation, is a thought to reflect on much later.

When they rejoin Kindaichi to watch the next match, Hajime’s still got her arm wrapped around Toru’s shoulders, holding her securely against her side. Kindaichi wiggles her eyebrows a little, and when Toru isn’t looking, Hajime flips her off. 

-

“I’m serious! That little chibi-chan’s made her soft.”

Hajime laughs through a mouthful of pad thai noodles, pausing to breathe before swallowing, and shakes her head at Toru. “You may be right,” she relents.

It’s been a long while since they’ve hung out like this, or even had the time to. College applications didn’t fill out themselves, and these days when she’s not drowning in volleyball practice, Hajime’s drowning in them. The benefit of knowing Toru for the better half of her life, of course, is that Hajime’s parents trust her, and agreed without hesitation to Hajime’s request to let Toru stay over while they were out of town. Hajime’s never been more grateful that her parents seemingly love Toru more than her.

“I  _ am  _ right! I’ve never seen her cooperate with anyone like that. Not to mention the rest of her team?” Toru pauses, sifting through drunken noodles thoughtfully. “Maybe she’s just possessed.”

“I think that’s enough conspiracy theories for one night,” Hajime cuts her off, fighting back laughter and failing pretty miserably. Toru snickers, then cuts herself off midway with a yawn. “You tired?”

Toru shrugs. “Yeah, kind of. I should probably go.”

“You don’t have to,” Hajime offers. Then, laughing a little, she adds, “My parents love you, they won’t mind at all.” 

Toru grins. “Alright.” 

Once again, Hajime valiantly attempts to ignore the way that makes her chest tight and her stomach twist itself into knots. This time, however, she’s not so lucky, because the second they land on the couch and Hajime starts flipping through TV channels distractedly, Toru starts watching her like a hawk. 

“Is something wrong?”

Hajime bites her tongue for a long moment. “Of course not,” she grits out. 

“That wasn’t even a little bit convincing,” Toru laughs. “I’m not even sure you tried.” 

Hajime snorts, but her eyes remain glued vacantly on the TV, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the channels she scrolls through. There’s never anything good on, anyway. 

“So what’s wrong?” Toru asks again, persistent as ever. “... Did I do something?”

“No!” Hajime answers quickly, glancing at Toru for a brief moment in dismay. “No, not at all.”

“... Did  _ you  _ do something?”

_ Not yet _ , her brain supplies unhelpfully. “... No?”

“You don’t sound very confident.”

Hajime shakes her head hard. “I haven’t done anything, promise.”

“So… what is it?” 

Hajime starts to weigh her options. She could say she’s still just shaken up from their match that afternoon- it wouldn’t be a lie, not really, but it certainly isn’t the whole truth. She’s pretty sure Toru would believe her, though, and it might keep her from prying any further. The other option is to actually tell Toru the truth, which is something Hajime desperately does not want to think about. She’s not even sure what the truth is, let alone how to say it. 

But then Toru leans toward her, puts a hand on Hajime’s cheek and turns her head so their gazes meet again, and Hajime thinks she stops breathing for a long, overwhelming moment. Toru looks worried, that familiar near pleading look in her eyes clicking in her head as she notices how close to her face Toru is now, and then Hajime stops thinking about that prying look, and about pretty much everything else in the entire world. 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Toru asks. Hajime barely registers the question, and only manages to nod slowly in response, completely reduced to a metaphorical deer in headlights. “Then talk to me.”

“What would you do if I kissed you right now?” Hajime blurts out. 

Toru’s mouth gapes open for a split second, then slams firmly shut, and Hajime knows she’s fucked up. Her brain instantly scrambles for an excuse, a joke to play it off with, a big red escape button she can slam and then run for it. 

She doesn’t notice Toru leaning in until their lips meet. At this point, Hajime is convinced she’s dreaming. 

Toru kisses her soft and slow, her lips only just melting against Hajime’s with the slight, coaxing pressure of her mouth. Hajime could pull away if she wanted to. She absolutely, in no conceivable reality, wants to. Instead she reaches over and holds Toru by the hips, steadying herself on them as she leans in to return the kiss. Her head is well and truly in the clouds now, like the only thing that matters is Toru in front of her, Toru in her hands, Toru’s lips against hers- and maybe it is. 

“ _ Boke _ -chan,” Toru murmurs, a breathless little smile on her lips as she draws back from the kiss and rests her forehead against Hajime’s. “You should’ve kissed me a long time ago.”

Hajime nods fervently in agreement. “I didn’t know-”

She’s interrupted with another kiss, this time a little longer, deeper and much more demanding, and Toru is definitely trying to prove a point now, one Hajime is more than willing to hear her out on. “I’ve been in love with you for years, idiot.”

Hajime’s eyes go wide. “Oh.”

“ _ Oh _ ,” Toru echoes, teasing. “I just assumed you weren’t interested.” 

Hajime has the decency to look sheepish, lifting her hands from Toru’s hips to run her fingers aimlessly through Toru’s hair. “No, I’m just blind,” she mumbles. Toru barks a laugh. 

“You are. I mean, I flirt with you constantly.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah.”

Hajime makes a face. “You’re not supposed to agree with me.”

“But you’re  _ my  _ idiot,” Toru drawls. She gives Hajime another kiss, then adds, “and I’m yours.”

Hajime assumes her heart has taken up permanent residence lodged somewhere in her throat. She kisses Toru this time, drops her hands to cup Toru’s neck and draw her closer, her chest constricting at the pleased little noise Toru makes.

“I’m not going to ditch you after we graduate,” Hajime murmurs.

Toru smiles at her, soft and sweet and just enough to make Hajime’s head spin- as if it wasn’t spinning already, and as if she will ever come down from the high that is kissing Oikawa Toru. “Good,” she whispers, planting a kiss to the corner of Hajime’s mouth. “Because I’m not gonna let go. I’m going to be the clingiest girlfriend in the world.”

Hajime snorts. “You’re already clingy.”

“Yeah, but it’s going to be worse.”

“I don’t know if that’s physically possible.”

Toru shuts her up with another long kiss, one Hajime is more than happy to return enthusiastically. True to her word, Toru clings, straddles Hajime’s thighs and curls her arms around her neck, pulling their bodies flush together as they kiss. It’s intimate, but not in the way Hajime expected. There’s something sweet and innocent about being close enough to Toru to feel her heartbeat thundering in her chest, feel Toru’s warmth against her skin, feel Toru sighing into her mouth. It’s lazy and warm and safe in a way Hajime never imagined, and it makes the tight coil of nerves and anticipation unfurl and blossom into the surge of overwhelming fondness and love she’s attempted to hold back for so long. 

“I love you, too,” Hajime whispers against her lips. “Just so we’re clear.”

Toru beams. Her fingers trail up and over Hajime’s neck, tracing over her jaw and thumbing over her cheekbones with a feather light touch that makes Hajime shiver and lean in. 

“I know.”


End file.
